I am absolutely furious right now. My friend has a daughter who is also in my 7th grade history class. She is the nicest kid in the world and one of the best students in any of my classes. However, this morning she came into my class late and was not herself. Normally she is raising her hand and engaging with the class but she had her hoodie up and her head down. She was holding her arm to the side and looked to be in pain.
Halfway through class, I walked by her desk to check on her and she looked up at me and had tears in her eyes. I brought her outside my classroom and asked her what was wrong but she was not responding but she started crying even more. After a couple more minutes of reassurance, she finally opened up. She woke up late for school and accidentally dropped a glass of water when she was getting ready. My friend, who is her father, punched her twice in the ribs and yelled at her for being clumsy. I asked her if she was hurt and she pulled her hoodie up and her ribs were beginning to bruise. My friend is 6’4 and over 200 pounds. My student is 12 years old and cannot be more than 85 pounds.
I asked my colleague in the next class to watch over my class and I took her to the health office, where her mother picked her up. When she saw her daughter sitting in pain, she nearly burned the office down. She started cursing my friends name and said this was the last straw for her. She asked me not to file a report but I told her I was required to as I was shown evidence of abuse and her daughter used the word abuse which she begrudgingly understood.
I am so mad right now. My friend has always had a short temper but hitting your child because she dropped a glass is beyond disgusting. My student’s mother texted me at noon and said her daughter broke a rib and is going to be out of class until Wednesday. I feel awful for my student. She is such a bright kid and is well liked by her peers and now she is having trouble breathing because her father cannot act like an adult.
I am ending my friendship with this man. He has been getting on my nerves for a while but I will be devastated if I am friends with someone who hits their child.
RELEVANT COMMENTS
It sounds like the mom was also letting it happen if she asked not to report. Last straw sounds like it’s happened before. Damn, this is sad.
OOP
I have been stuck on that sentence all day. I gave her a confused look when she said it. What do you mean “this is the last straw”??????? It made me wonder if I ever witnessed moments of abuse between them before this incident.
DutyValuable
That’s why I’m wondering if the daughter will necessarily be safer with her mother.
OOP
From what she was saying, it seems like she witnessed abuse but did not partake in it herself. That could make her an enabler, of course but her daughter is 100x more safe with her. I’m also planning on checking in on my student regularly once she comes back. Just so she knows there is an adult around that she hopefully feels comfortable coming to if she needs help.
UPDATE
Hi everyone, a lot of people wanted an update on my previous post here so here they are.
- The guidelines of my school district mandate that a police officer come whenever a child reports an instance of abuse. I am not going to go into detail for reasons of student confidentiality but there is a warrant going out for the arrest of her father.
- My student is home with her mother and grandparents and is recovering. One of her ribs is broken and she is in a lot of pain but she is breathing a lot better.
- Her mother and father are married but have been living apart for a couple of months. She has been floating the idea of divorcing him and she sent me a text message this morning saying she is going to file for divorce.
- Her mother is a really good person and she also reported moments of abuse between her husband. She has been able to find living arrangements and is able to support herself and her daughter. I have known her for 16 years. She would never lay a hand on her daughter. She is a good parent.
- My student’s father blew up my phone last night, saying I was destroying his family and to stay out of his business. I did not respond and blocked him.
My student’s mother walked into my classroom after school today to pick up any assignments for her daughter. She thanked me for reaching out to her daughter and said I saved her daughter and herself from a lifetime of abuse. She handed me a note and said her daughter wrote it. I read it when she left and started to cry. My student thanked me for recognizing that she was in pain. She felt comfortable talking to me since she has known me her entire life and knew I would act if she told me she was in danger. She called me her favorite teacher and said she will be prepared for class when she returns. I pray she fully recovers and is not deeply traumatized by this event. She is a good kid and needs to be loved and cared for by people who appreciate her.
EDIT: Her father was arrested this morning. He is no longer a threat right now. He did admit to driving by my apartment complex last night. I might have dodged a major bullet by leaving town for the weekend. I can relax a little bit. So can my student and her mother. Thank you to everyone who supported me through this situation.
If you are being abused, please tell a teacher or counselor if you are in school. I understand that it is difficult to talk about such a topic but we are here to help you. I know there are situations where some teachers do not assist the student but please give yourself the chance to be helped. It can mean the difference between a lifetime of danger or the ability to escape your situation.
RELEVANT COMMENTS
Sinsemilla_Street
She was afraid of her husband retaliating against her or her daughter. It’s an unfortunate situation to be in. People who are in abusive relationships will put up with it but many will drop everything if they see their child receiving abuse. It’s a terrible cycle to go through.
