I read this story on Reddit about a woman dealing with her mother, who had a history of heavy drinking but had seemingly turned her life around until one night changed everything.
The woman’s mother had started drinking heavily while she was in college, though she hadn’t known it at the time. It wasn’t until her brothers told her about the situation that she confronted her mom. After hours of conversations, the mother denied everything but admitted to being unhappy. Following those talks, the woman pulled away, especially as her mother’s behavior became erratic.
Eventually, the mother moved closer to her, about five hours away, just as the woman was about to give birth to her second child. Initially, things went well. The mother appeared to have stopped drinking, was a loving and attentive grandmother, and helped with the kids. For six months, there were no signs of her old behavior. It seemed like a new chapter.
That is, until a recent dinner when her mother showed up drunk. She was slurring her words, swaying, crying, and being argumentative exhibiting all the behaviors from her drinking days. The woman only realized the extent of it after her mother had already been carrying her baby daughter around, which filled her with rage at the thought of what could have happened if her mother had fallen.
She and her husband had always maintained a rule: one chance. Though unspoken to the mother, this moment broke that rule. Now, the woman knows she needs to confront her mother and put boundaries in place, but she’s dreading the fallout. Her mother is likely to deny everything, and her son, who loves his grandmother, will be heartbroken when he can no longer see her.
“This is a line in the sand moment. Let her know that until she is sober, receives treatment, and goes to therapy, she is not to see or speak to you or your family.”
“I think it’s odd she hasn’t drunk for months and was a helpful grandmother until your brother came to town. She only started drinking heavily when you were gone in college. Is there something that happened between your brother and your mother? Why does she drink heavily only when he’s near her?”
It’s a heartbreaking situation of love, boundaries, and safety, where the woman is torn between protecting her children and her lingering hope for her mother’s recovery.