I read this deeply emotional story on Reddit about a woman (33F) grappling with late-night intrusive thoughts while caring for her newborn and elderly grandfather with Alzheimer’s dementia. Her journey began in 2016 when her grandmother passed away, and she and her now-husband (32M) moved in with her grandfather to care for him, honoring her grandmother’s last wish.
Fast forward to today: she’s two months postpartum with her first child, a baby boy she adores. Though she anticipated postpartum depression due to her history of anxiety and depression, her son has brought her immense joy. However, caregiving hasn’t been easy, especially with her grandfather’s memory rapidly declining.
Her grandfather, now 89, frequently becomes confused and accusatory, accusing them of theft or deception. These moments sting deeply despite her understanding that it’s his illness talking. His distrust leaves her emotionally drained, making caregiving even more challenging.
Adding to her burden, her uncle lives across the country, while her aunt lives nearby but only hosts occasional Saturday dinners. The responsibility of caregiving largely falls on her and her husband, with little relief in sight.
Late at night, during feedings or pumping sessions, she finds herself battling intrusive thoughts like how her son will be around 10 when their beloved dogs might pass away. Worst of all, she sometimes wishes for her grandfather’s peaceful passing, hoping it would allow her small family to move forward.
“You’re not a bad person for feeling this way. Caregiving is emotionally exhausting. It’s okay to acknowledge that without guilt.”
Intrusive thoughts don’t define you. They’re reflections of exhaustion, not cruelty. You’re doing the best you can under unimaginable stress.”
, “Consider respite care or reaching out to local support services. You’re not alone, and asking for help isn’t failing.”
Reading this made me reflect on how heavy caregiving can be, especially when combined with new parenthood. Is she truly at fault for having these thoughts, or is she simply human overwhelmed and in need of support? What would you do in her situation?