Meeting your sibling’s new partner can be tricky, but I never expected my brother’s girlfriend to disrespect me in my own home and then act like I was the problem.
I (30F) live in a nice two-bedroom apartment in the city. One of the rooms is a guest room that my family often uses when they visit. My brother, Alex (27M), recently started dating a woman named Jenna (26F) and this past weekend, he asked if they could stay with me while visiting the city. I agreed, excited to meet her since Alex has always been respectful and thoughtful about staying over.
The first evening started off well until dinner at a nice Italian restaurant. While waiting for our food, Jenna casually started talking about how people who rent instead of owning homes are “financially irresponsible.” I laughed, thinking she was joking, but she doubled down, saying renting was “throwing money away every month.”
I calmly explained that I rent because my job might require me to relocate and I value the flexibility. Without missing a beat, she responded, “Maybe if you did not spend so much money eating out, you could afford a down payment.”
Alex looked mortified and told her to drop it, but she kept going. She said people like me were “part of the reason the economy is so messed up” because we do not prioritize homeownership. At that point, I snapped and told her she was being rude and condescending and that my financial decisions were none of her business.
The rest of the dinner was painfully tense. When we returned to my apartment, I pulled Alex aside and told him I wasn’t comfortable having Jenna stay in my home anymore. He apologized for her behavior, but I stood firm. I told him he was still welcome to stay, but she needed to find another place.
Unfortunately, Jenna overheard and got upset. She accused me of being overly sensitive and said she didn’t “mean anything by it,” insisting I was taking her comments too personally. Alex ended up leaving with her, clearly upset and later texted me saying I overreacted and put him in a tough spot.
Since then, I have felt guilty for making Alex choose, but I can’t shake how disrespected I felt. Jenna didn’t just make a thoughtless comment she kept pushing even when it was clear she’d crossed a line.
After sharing my story, people had a lot to say. Some thought Jenna was envious of my apartment and lashed out to make me feel insecure. Others pointed out that people should be able to make different financial choices without being judged. A few even noted that Jenna’s doubling down felt manipulative, especially when she tried to make me seem like the unreasonable one afterward.
Am I really wrong for standing up for myself and refusing to host someone who disrespected me in my own home?