My(20m) sister(14) was reading a book yesterday when she asked me ‘What does a Greek god look like?’ I asked her why she is asking me that and she showed me a passage saying a guy has the features of a Greek god. So I told her ‘You know, muscular and handsome.’
I noticed my mom giving me a weird look and asked her if something’s wrong. She said ‘Nothing’. Later asked me if I like my best friend(20m) because he’s tall and muscular. I was taken aback. As it turns out, she had always assumed he and I are gay, which is not the case. I quickly told her we’re not gays but she didn’t believe me, saying the way we behave around each other leaves no other possible interpretation.
So I told her she should stop trying to interpret and see things that are not there. She said ‘Okay’ before telling me she told her friends that I am gay but haven’t come out to her yet, and that she was worried about me keeping it bottled up inside.
I snapped at her for it. I have nothing against gays but I don’t want them to think I’m one when I’m not since it’ll only lead to awkwardness. Not to mention one of them has a daughter I have a crush on and might ask out. She said she only told them because she was worried about me and wanted some advice on what to do.
TOP COMMENTS
NTA!!!!
Mom went way out of bounds with that! Not only should she NOT have confronted you, but she NEVER should have said anything to anyone else!
As a mom I am completely taken aback by her actions. If and when you are ready you need to sit her down and explain to her how this really effects you. Though you are not gay, if you were, it would be your choice to tell others. It would be up to you, OP, to decide the who’s and when’s.
Being that she made a completely false assumption about your sexuality, and told others, MOM should feel like the ass!
REPLY
Exactly. Even if he were actually gay, the mom had no right in telling her friends when he has not come out yet. She told her friends that he’s gay but is worried he is bottling it up? If he were gay, that would definitely make him feel safe with his own mother to keep confidential information that he may not be ready to share to the public yet (not saying he is).
I get she wanted to be supportive, but I am a teenager, and even I know that that was the wrong way to go about “supporting” him. If your child is closeted, or you think they might be gay or whatever, telling other people before they actually came out to you or are comfortable making it public will most definitely make them feel unsafe with you with their confidential and personal information NTA
RESPONCE TO REPLY
Yeah what happened to op was unfair. Spreading rumors about anyone’s sexuality can cause a lot of emotional damage. Her having good intentions of wanting to help doesn’t negate the fact that she literally decided her son was gay and told everyone. And op replied that the reason she thought he was gay was cause his friend was laughing at his lame jokes?????? Sounds like ops mom is in the habit of assuming things before making sure. And not apologizing after. NTA
