I read a story on Reddit about a pregnant woman struggling with her mother-in-law’s (MIL) behavior and wondering if her feelings are valid. She describes her MIL as intrusive, overbearing, and dysfunctional, and the situation has left her feeling insecure, resentful, and frustrated.
The woman is married to a kind and caring man, but his upbringing was marked by trauma and neglect, much of it due to his MIL’s behavior. She partied excessively, dated multiple men, neglected her children, and relied on her son (the woman’s husband) to raise his younger siblings. Despite everything, her husband maintains a relationship with his mother, although they only see her a few times a year since they live in different cities.
Things came to a head during the couple’s wedding last year. The MIL caused significant stress by inviting people without permission, who then caused drama, offended the bride’s family, and behaved inappropriately. The MIL didn’t contribute financially or emotionally to the wedding, gave no gift, and made the event all about herself. The woman chose to stay quiet during the wedding to avoid drama but has since felt growing resentment.
Now that the MIL is visiting again, the woman is 10 weeks pregnant, and her husband decided to share the news. Despite being asked to keep it private, the MIL told multiple people and immediately began making plans for her involvement, including taking a month off work to stay with them after the baby is born, something the woman absolutely does not want. The MIL has been offering unsolicited advice about parenting, asking intrusive questions about breastfeeding, baby names, and body care, and including her opinions in every conversation.
The MIL has also made insensitive comments about the woman’s appearance. When the woman, feeling sick and exhausted, wore baggy sweatpants and a t-shirt, the MIL grabbed her pants and mocked her for wearing something too big. On top of that, she sat back and let the woman cook dinner for her and her boyfriend while making more intrusive remarks. Dinner conversations revolved around the MIL’s delusional stories about her parenting, which the family laughed about, further deepening the woman’s resentment.
The woman is determined to break the cycle of dysfunction and is adamant that her child will not be subjected to the same environment her husband grew up in. She’s been journaling her thoughts to prepare for a serious conversation with her husband about boundaries once the MIL leaves. Despite her efforts to keep the peace, she’s questioning whether her feelings are justified, whether this kind of behavior is normal, and how to handle the situation moving forward.
You are not crazy. None of this is normal, and your MIL’s behavior is intrusive and disrespectful. You’re absolutely justified in your feelings, especially given her track record. It’s good that you’re journaling to prepare for a calm, honest conversation with your husband. He may love his mom, but he needs to support you and set boundaries for your growing family.
Agreed. Your MIL has shown you exactly who she is a person who disregards others’ boundaries and makes everything about herself. You’re doing the right thing by prioritizing your own well-being and protecting your child from her dysfunction. Stand firm on not letting her stay for a month after the baby is born. That’s your time to heal and bond, not to manage her demands.
This story sparked a lot of advice from readers, many emphasizing the importance of boundaries and open communication with the husband. They agreed the woman’s feelings were valid and encouraged her to protect her peace and her family’s future from toxic dynamics.