I read a story on Reddit about a mom dealing with her mother-in-law (MIL), whose Christmas gifts to her 3-year-old daughter felt thoughtless and detached, reinforcing her frustrations about their lack of a meaningful relationship.
The MIL, described as a “Facebook grandparent,” often posts pictures of her granddaughter without permission and loudly declares her love for her on social media. Yet in reality, she spends little to no time engaging with her. Visits are brief and transactional dropping off gifts and expecting affection in return without making any real effort to bond with the child.
This year’s Christmas gifts were a perfect example of her detachment. The MIL gave the child an assortment of items, all of which were unusable or unsuitable:
- A 48-piece puzzle too advanced for the child’s developmental stage.
- Three Barbies and Polly Pocket toys, though the child has no interest in dolls.
- Straws for a Stanley-style tumbler featuring Friends, a show irrelevant to a toddler.
- Shoes four sizes too big, a sippy cup no longer needed, and broken play makeup.
- Earrings for a child without pierced ears.
The mom tried to find even one item her daughter could use or enjoy but came up empty-handed. Meanwhile, her daughter loved gifts from other family members who clearly put thought into what she liked. Frustrated and angry, the mom donated every single item from her MIL to a local thrift store.
Her frustration isn’t about the cost of the gifts, she emphasized that she doesn’t mind inexpensive presents. Instead, it’s the lack of care and thought behind the gifts that bothers her. She’s communicated repeatedly about her daughter’s sizes and interests, but her MIL consistently ignores these details. To the mom, it’s a reflection of how little her MIL truly knows or cares about her granddaughter.
Adding to her frustration is the contrast with the child’s great-grandmother, who actively invests in the child’s life. She’s present, involved, and genuinely loving—qualities the mom feels are completely absent in her MIL. The mom’s resentment has grown to the point where she no longer shares with her husband when she donates his mom’s gifts, knowing it’s unlikely the MIL will ever notice.
You’re absolutely right to feel angry. It’s not about the money; it’s about the lack of effort and thought. Your MIL’s actions show she’s more interested in the appearance of being a grandma than actually being one. Keep donating the junk, it’s her loss, not yours.
Exactly this. It’s frustrating because putting thought into a gift for a child isn’t difficult. She’s choosing to ignore your input and your daughter’s interests. You’re doing the right thing by letting it go and focusing on the people who genuinely care about your little one.
The story resonated with many readers who related to the frustrations of dealing with thoughtless in-laws. The overarching consensus was that the mom’s feelings were valid, and she was doing the right thing by prioritizing her child’s happiness and well-being over appeasing a MIL who clearly wasn’t invested in building a meaningful relationship.