I read this story on Reddit about a 25-year-old Pakistani woman who has been married for two years and is living in what she describes as “hell” under her mother-in-law’s (MIL) control. The situation is worsened by the cultural expectations of living in a joint family. Her MIL’s behavior is described as manipulative, critical, and hypocritical.
From the moment she entered the family, her MIL expected her to cook for everyone and then dismissed her efforts by claiming her children wouldn’t eat the food. She constantly criticized the dowry and gifts her family provided, taunted her, and insisted that she should let her husband shout at her because “men will be men.” Adding to the frustration, the MIL spreads lies about her to other relatives, portraying her as lazy and dependent on house help, while the woman takes care of the household and her MIL’s daughters, who are pampered and served in their rooms.
Things became even more unbearable during her pregnancy. She suffered from severe hyperemesis, vomiting 15 times a day and needing IVs. Instead of support, her MIL dismissed her condition, calling it “all in her head” and insisting she continue household chores despite her severe illness.
Her MIL also projects her own issues with her husband onto her daughter-in-law, creating an environment of constant tension. While publicly claiming they live harmoniously and that she treats her like a daughter, the reality is the opposite.
The woman is at a breaking point and doesn’t know how to proceed without causing more drama or being vilified as the “bad guy.” Commenters were quick to advise her to stop catering to her MIL and her daughters and suggested she and her husband move out to create a healthier environment for their young family.
“Leave while she’s out and never go back. Tell your husband, ‘We are getting our own place. This antiquated intergenerational living ends with us. I’m out. I’m educated and following my dreams. I can’t make you come with me, but I hope you do.’”
“Stop doing everything for her. Stop serving her daughters. Stop cooking food for everyone except your husband. Go on strike. If your husband gets angry, tell him his mother is insane and you’ve had enough of her rudeness and demands. You are done!”
The story serves as a reminder of how important boundaries and mutual respect are in maintaining healthy family dynamics.