This story captures the emotional toll of dealing with an overbearing mother-in-law (MIL) who struggles to respect boundaries and control.
A mom wrote about her struggles with her MIL, whose obsession with her baby, need for control, and lack of respect for boundaries have made life increasingly stressful. While she wants her in-laws to be part of her baby’s life, their behavior especially her MIL’s has made it difficult to enjoy her motherhood experience.
The biggest issue is her MIL’s fixation on the baby. She and her husband haven’t yet taken their baby to visit family in India, but when she mentioned her plans to do so, her MIL immediately started dictating how the trip should go. According to MIL, they should stay at her sister-in-law’s (SIL) house, and the mom shouldn’t visit her own parents until MIL and her family had spent “enough time” with the baby. This demand felt incredibly disrespectful not just to her, but to her parents, who deserve their own time with their grandchild. What makes it worse is that her in-laws already live nearby in the U.S. and see the baby regularly, yet they still want to control every detail of the visit and overshadow her family’s time.
Her MIL also has a habit of undermining her as a mother. She constantly questions her parenting choices, offers unsolicited advice, and acts as if she has the final say on how the baby should be raised. It’s exhausting and leaves the mom feeling judged and dismissed.
Finances are another source of tension. Her MIL often makes comments about how “all bank accounts are shared because we’re family” and behaves as if she has a right to weigh in on how her son and daughter-in-law spend their money. She has even criticized purchases the mom has made for their home, adding to the feeling that her MIL wants to monitor and control every aspect of their lives.
Then there’s the daily demand for updates. Her MIL insists on receiving pictures and videos of the baby every day and nags them relentlessly if they don’t send updates to the family group chat. It feels invasive, leaving little space for the couple to enjoy their own family time.
Other issues, like constant criticism of her cooking and snooping around her home during visits, add to the frustration. Her MIL will poke around in the pantry, make negative comments about how things are organized, or question why certain items were purchased. It’s petty, but it’s another way her MIL inserts herself into their lives.
While her husband has been supportive and stands up for her when needed, dealing with his mom’s constant overstepping has been draining for both of them. Her MIL’s obsession with control and lack of respect for their boundaries has made it hard for the mom to enjoy these precious early days with her baby. She’s left wondering how to handle the situation without causing an even bigger conflict.
This mom is navigating an incredibly tough dynamic with strength and patience. Her boundaries are not only reasonable but necessary to protect her peace and her baby’s well-being. It’s clear that her MIL’s behavior stems from a need for control, but that doesn’t make it acceptable. By setting firm limits, relying on her husband’s support, and prioritizing her own family, she can work toward creating a healthier, more balanced relationship or at least ensure her own peace of mind.