I read a story on Reddit about a woman who is in the process of divorcing her husband and is grappling with whether it’s okay to date while her divorce isn’t finalized. Here’s her situation:
She and her soon-to-be ex-husband (stbxh) are still living together as housemates while she saves money to move out, which she plans to do by January or February next year. Their relationship is completely over, he doesn’t acknowledge her, doesn’t care about her anymore, and has essentially been ignoring her presence in the house. She feels unwanted and rejected.
Craving social interaction and tired of feeling invisible, she created a dating app profile. She made it clear in her bio that she’s in the process of divorcing, isn’t looking to rush into a relationship, and just wants to meet new people and make friends. Within a week, she met three guys: she had dinner and stargazed with one, went to a theme park with another, and had dinner with the third. For her, these outings were about reconnecting with people and herself after years of emotional neglect.
However, one of her friends, who she describes as being like a mother figure, strongly disapproved. The friend told her it’s inappropriate to date while her divorce is pending and that she should wait until it’s finalized. The friend also insisted she share details of who she’s meeting and where, citing safety concerns. While the woman appreciates her friend’s care, she feels judged and conflicted.
For context, her marriage ended because her husband changed his mind about having more kids and admitted he no longer felt a connection with her after she uprooted her life to move across the world for him.
“As long as you’re honest about your situation, you’re not doing anything wrong. You deserve to enjoy life and move forward.”
“Your friend might be projecting traditional values onto you, but your happiness and healing should come first. Just stay safe and true to your intentions.”
“If dating brings you joy right now, that’s okay. Divorce is messy, but your self-worth isn’t tied to waiting for a court date.”
This story raises an important question: Is it wrong to date while still legally married, even when the relationship is emotionally over? What do you think—should she hold off, or is it okay to explore new connections while moving on?